Claudia Jean says think about "How do you want to be loved? Do you want loneliness to follow your spouse to his or her grave, or do you want to have the love you had for each other move forward?Wouldn’t you hope that the new love would be fond of your memory?The dating world can be difficult to re-enter after losing a spouse. If the photos can’t come down, or the reminiscing is constant and weepy, more time is needed.If you’re a widow(er), or you’re dating someone who has grieved the loss of a life partner, e Harmony users have some advice and wisdom to share on the subject of dating after loss. Most widow(er)s have a support system of friends and family.
The deceased spouse wasn’t perfect; comparing yourself to an image of a saint isn’t fair to either of you.This could lead you to question that previous relationship. Claudia Jean, creator of a seminar series on a mid-life dating, says "there may also be a lingering sense of ‘cheating’ that must be worked through.However, that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing a relation with a widow or widower. Unless you are recently single, your dating skills should include the ability to be still and let this wonderful human being move toward you." Ask questions early on Susan Shapiro Barash, author of and a professor at Marymount Manhattan College says "It’s best to be forthright…".Dating for the right reasons Take some time to understand why you want to date.If you’re dating because you think it’s going to somehow fill the void or heal the pain that comes from losing a spouse, it’s not going to happen.