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    Dating widower too soon

    People did not relinquish love, and love even enabled some of them to survive the horror and death around them.Death is perceived to be associated with love in various ways.

    Without love and desire, many people feel that a large part of them is dead.

    The relationship only compounded his depression and confusion, and he now sees it as an act of desperation and loneliness.

    Of course, he still carries the wounds of his heartbreaking loss, but by the time I met him, he seemed genuinely open and ready for new love. It’s natural to worry that you’ll be compared unfavourably to a widow or widower’s late spouse and, sadly, this does sometimes happen.

    ’ Once, when I was bemoaning my single status, someone tried to reassure me that ‘the widowers are now starting to come back on the market’. However, as we get older, people increasingly find themselves single again after the death of a spouse – and, in fact, I ended up dating a lovely man who’d lost his wife to breast cancer four years earlier. It’s dangerous to start making rules about when a widow or widower will be ready for a new relationship, as every situation is unique.

    If a loved one is ill for a long time, we sometimes do much of our grieving before they die, and may be ready to move on more quickly.

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